Ladies, Sweetest Day is swiftly approaching and I’m sure we all want to get the love of our life together on this amazing day to show our appreciation. Why not do it the right way, their way and not ours? Here I have 10 tips on the do’s and don’ts to make this holiday one to remember for the special someone in our lives:
What kind of world do we live in? Who established these social norms? Why has our culture manifested itself in the way that it has?
So many questions, so very little answers…
As a female in today’s society it’s not rare to get barked at by males, be reduced to the color pants we’re wearing at the current moment, or even be thought of as sexual objects. Unfortunately this is a normality for so many.
Sure, some may argue that if females didn’t wear tight skirts or revealing blouses or the fact that they curled their hair and put on makeup, they wouldn’t get treated as they do. But…why does a woman’s attire and physical appearance represent her sexual standing? Too often today do women find themselves in a position that they couldn’t or shouldn’t have imagined that they’d be in. For these reasons, it’s people like Amber Rose that have started the “Slut Walk”, the no-shaming protest to end the rape culture and the dehumanization of women. If a woman is a bit more promiscuous than that of a nun, she’s every name in the book. The cruelty and slander is horrendous.
To make matters worse, our potential president-unfortunately, Donald Trump, has been interviewed, quoted, and filmed one to many times about his opinion on the female. Some of his many claims are that women are a distraction; their menstrual cycles, pregnancy, and emotional mindsets are far too chaotic, inconvenient and disturbing much less to be considered in any place of power or as president of the United States, referencing Hilary Clinton.
We know the setup, “what’s your name, what’s your sign, you got a man” etc. a timeless opener for males to entice a woman, but if theres a hint of sass given or an attitude underway we’re automatically the worst things walking this Earth. Sure, being dry or straight to the point may not be the nicest thing to do, but if i’m simply just not interested or don’t want to be bothered why does that make me any less of a person. At a social event, a female was shot, SHOT, in her chest because she declined to give a man her phone number. Though she’s doing alright, it was such an unnecessary measure taken. It’s unclear of how nicely or rudely she may have declined his request, but why would that even be a factor? Why does a woman need to be a gentle lamb just to preserve her life in these types of occurrences???
It sort of reminds me of the senseless killings by the police officers. A man selling CD’s though thought to be suspicious or his activity even illegal, it doesn’t justify his death.He was shot several times at close range while being held down by other police officers. If you’ve seen some of the comments of the videos that have gone viral you’d see some of thie ignorant nonsense people have posted. “If he wasn’t selling CD’s he wouldn’t have been shot, If he didn’t resist, if he didn’t talk back, if he didn’t stand there, if he didn’t blink, if he didn’t smile, if he wasn’t black….” so many hateful, blood-boiling statements that bring me back to the thought that no one deserves the treatment that society bestowes upon them. Whether it be a woman with tight fitting clothing that drank too much and thus gang raped or an innocent man hustling to feed his family shot and killed, there are no justifications for their resulting consequences.
On a Saturday night out with the girls, all dolled up, men approach you and no matter how nice or rude you try to be it’s like they don’t get it. On a particular occasion, a man bumped into a young woman and was very touchy as he apologized, she requested that he not touch her, and he turned into another person aside from the one that was just trying to apologize so affectionately. “You must think you’re hot S***, you think you’re bad, well you’re not you ugly little b****, that’s why you…”, the slurs, profanity, and insults continued as he walked away. When these types of things happen it makes me wonder if it’s even safe to go out anymore. Who knows what could happen if a male approaches a female now of days.
Males are using whatever tactics they can just to save face and their pride. Chloroform cloths are being heavily used on women, along with date rape drugs- Rohypnol or Roofie, as well as tazers, guns, and other weapons. It wouldn’t be shocking to know that women actually feel some sense of obligation to comply with men and their requests no matter the circumstance just to maintain their safety. To no surprise, campus crimes have increased. A couple of girls walking back to their dorms from the library meeting with their study group, and a male thinks that’s the perfect time to take advantage of the situation. As women, we’re made to feel so small, helpless, weak, and insecure that we need to carry our purse pistols, a shank, mace…and not that that’s a bad idea at all, but why has society made us feel so fearful that we need to utilize these strategies just to make it back home safely?
Recently, well-known, socialite, Kim Kardashian was tied up with taped mouth and blindfold and robbed by two men dressed as police officers while in Paris for fashion week. Kanye West happened to be having a concert in the city that week and when he heard of the news he immediately canceled the show and went to be with her. People were outraged by the cancelation and took it out on Mrs. West herself. People trolled, made accusations, and called Kim all sorts of names and legitimizing the reason she was robbed claiming that she shouldn’t have “all that money” anyway. Love, like, hate, or indifferent, no one should be made to feel so less than that anything they have can be taken rather it be physical objects or other things. This scenario isn’t too far off from what happens to women everyday.
This isn’t a rant for “men haters”, this isn’t a “women rule the world”-Beyonce combo, this isn’t to possey up and start a mob to start killing them off, this is to establish knowledge about what’s going on, in 2016 where a female can’t be too sure about her life’s state when a man approaches her. It’s all too surreal that our grandmothers were treated like queens when they were young. Given flowers, dated gentlemen who thought they were lucky to have even have known the lady…times have definitely changed and not for better. As women, we definitely need to be aware of our surroundings, not caught up with capturing the “right light” while trying to take a selfie or other matters. It’s time to get serious. There are hotlines and helpful websites available. Talk to your mother, sister, grandmother, and other women. Talk to the men in your life too. Life is too precious and much to short to have it conflicted due to pride-hurt males.
Stay safe! Stay in the know!
You’ve seen her, always on the queens right hand side–killing the choreography with sass, technique and now a diamond.
Ashley Everett, one of Beyoncés back up dancers is now happily engaged! Fans broke the internet with the news. She and her now fiancé John Silver, has agreed to tie the knot as millions were there to witness.
Before Bey and her team performed Single Ladies at her show in St.Louis, the surprised was revealed. Beyoncé teased Ashley about her ability to do the forever famous single ladies choreography with all the excitement. Ashley fiercely slayed the stage, showing off her new stunning ring.
Watch the full proposal here.
Everyday we wake up with the intention to do great things. Wether that be, being great at our new job, helping an old lady cross a busy street or just being a great friend, we all start with great intentions. Throughout the day, we experience situations that make our reactions not so great. Like this morning when that guy cut you off while merging on the highway. Yeah, I probably would have yelled and cursed him out too. But regardless, we allow temporary situations to distract us from our greatness.
Take this moment to learn from the pros. There are people in this world that wake up and plan to do terrible things, however we can’t be afraid to live amongst these frigid people. We must find a sense of peace in this world. It’s important to allow yourself to live and be happy no matter what evil the world may bring.
“Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them.” William Shakespere
This great poet and play writer, has a valid point. See, we can’t allow ourselves to be fearful of our greatness. It is the one thing that will get us to where we want to be in life. Our greatness allows us to see our flaws as opportunities of improvement, instead of lack of skill. William Shakespeare, believed that everyone was capable of greatness, it’s just up to the individual to want to be great.
“Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.” Albert Einstein
Think back when that guy cut you off, what was your immediate reaction? Was that reaction necessary? Probably not, since he could hear how stupid of a driver he is and the fact that his past drivers instructor should be incarcerated for allowing you to pass drivers ed. So why allow that moment to cold heartedly piss us off and distract us from our greatness.
Last week I made the decision to start going to bible study on a weekly basis. As a child Wednesday’s after school that’s where I would be, why did things change. Then I realized it’s because I’m an adult, I have the right to choose wether or not I want to sit in church for a few hours after staring at a computer screen for most of my day.
As an adult I can choose this for myself, without my mom yelling about how I need to go. For years I chose not to, actively seek a church in my neighborhood because, “I didn’t like none of the churches in Kalamazoo,” or because “I already had a church home in Detroit.” Even though I haven’t been there in forever since I’ve moved away.
However, I also wasn’t tapping into my greatness by feeding my spirit with what I believe in. Allowing my day to day routine be more important than my potential to be a greater self.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13
Being great takes practice, if the pros can do it so can you.
Relationships are constantly evolving, no matter how long you’ve been together; your relationship is always changing. New relationships are the most fragile, because you both are still getting to know each other, what you both have in common and so forth. In that case, compromising is extremely important. Compromising within a relationship shows loyalty and understanding. The fact that you are willing to accept something unusual for the sake of your partner is powerful.
However, you both should always be on the same page. Never ignore the wishes of the other, it creates unwanted issues and attitudes that could have easily been prevented. Most women find this hard to do, but demands a man to accept her flaws and all.
No fair for the fellas. I just recently did a post on PDA (public display of affection) and how it affects relationships. It’s common for women to flaunt their prince in shining armor to their networks, but most guys are private. This always a red flag in millennial relationships, because social media is the place to share your life. However in the event your guy doesn’t want to be plastered all over your timeline every monday, it’s important to respect his wishes.Don’t jump to the conclusions that he’s hiding something, or he’s ashamed of you. That would only mean you don’t trust him. Privacy is all he wants.
Now for the fellas
If your lady wants to discuss something that is bothering her within the relationship, although you may think everything is all good, still hear her out. That’s a compromise, and this discussion could ultimately help the relationship one or two ways, (1) you find out that she’s the one and remain in a relationship or (2) you find out she’s absolutely crazy and you need to flee the scene. At the end of the day, both parties have to accept the terms and conditions of the relationship.
Also free time, once again it’s natural for women to be around their significant other during free time, even during that time of the month (regardless of how mad she looks) spend that time with her. Guys on the other hand, free time is….actually I’m not sure, so I’ll find that out and report back. But anywho, from hanging with my male friends in relationships, it’s rare that all of their free time is with their girlfriend. Yes women want all of your free time, if we could.
Here’s how women feel about men and their free time. Men spend their free time doing the things they care about. Video games, basketball, gym or even sleep. When we know that you have free time and we aren’t even considered an option for some of it, we feel neglected. We cannot help it, we cannot control it. I’m almost certain there are little women in our heads sitting at a round table discussing consequences for being left out. HA! Laughing but I’m serious.
Ladies we have to stop being like this. I know it’s not all of us, but it’s most of us and compromising only strengthens the relationship. Couples show that you understand where your partner stands in any situation and find a common ground that will work for the both of you.
And you’ll live happily ever after.
“PDA” Public Display of Affection. Usually seen in your local parks, grocery stores, movie theatres and Instagram timelines. Consists of huggin, kissing, touching, posting, filters, and emojis. There is so much affection being shown for the world to see, it makes me wonder are those couples that affectionate at home and off the gram.
For example, I know a couple that chats a little on twitter but nothing too “steamy” —but in person they’re like two magnets falling into each other’s magnetic field. There is another couple that shares everything about their relationship online and where they are in public. However, when they’re at home they don’t even pretend to like each other. I’ve witness argument and all. I’m wondering is this behavior common between the two types of couples.
PDA has become so important to the validity of relationships. Especially, within the millennial generation. Being “Facebook Official” has gone deeper thanks to snapchat. But why is PDA so imporantant in millennial relationships?
Are you ok with NOT being on your significant other’s social platforms? If you are not ok with it, why?
I believe relationships are always fragile. In the sense that at any moment a person has the right and freedom to leave for whatever reason. Ofcourse when you’re married there’s a longer paperwork process for the division, but you get my point. At any moment a person can have a change of heart, and being in the eye of your public or lack there of…I’m sure that can bring about minor insecurities, for either party.
I don’t necessarily dislike the idea of PDA, I just don’t believe it’s necessary. It’s cute to post pics here and there of various events or trips. But everyday snaps of your and your guy/gal, can be kept for your own memory. It’s better that way. I enjoy coming home and telling my roommate how the weekend was without her saying “yeah, I saw that on Facebook.” The story is so much better when you actually have something to share.
Comment below your views on PDA.
Photo by: @kelbpics
In the hype of the new Dj Khaled album #MajorKey, and this random #NationalGirlfriendday holiday. I figured I share a few major keys to help in a relationship.
First, let me say, I applaud love, especially black love. It’s so beautiful to see, two people love a person so much that flaws are forgiven and the beauty of ones soul is seen and accepted. At least that’s what I think love is like.
But about those major keys. I’ve noticed being in a relationship requires patience. You have to be patient with one another for the fact that you both are constantly learning each other and growing together. I’ve learned that relationships are difficult when you aren’t patient with each other. You have to consider how they think before you assume anything. With being patient, you have to communicate.
Oh I’m sure these sound like a no brainer, but people aren’t really implementing them in their relationships. Some people are really half doing their relationships.
Communicating is THE major key. You want to communicate to understand not to just respond. This is why small argument boil over into fights over petty topics. If you aren’t having a good day, let it be know verbally. No one should have to distinctly read your body language, to see that it’s something wrong.
The next key is empowering one another. Supporting “bae” is the best thing you can do for each other. Being each others biggest fan, showing love through the good and bad times. It’s guaranteed to strengthen your relationship. So ladies, if he wants to be a rapper, support him–listen to his mixtapes. Your opinion is the one he’ll consider. If his friends say he need a little work, he might think they hating. But hearing it from you, can only be truth. Fellas, if this is you I’m describing, listen to your girl don’t let your ego be the reason you don’t make it.
So we have three keys so far. Being patient, communicating to understand, empowering each other and lastly, but most importantly–set time for each other. Pick a day during the week for about 5 hours and enjoy each other’s company. Don’t go to the movies are out to eat. Going to Applebee’s is not it, go for a walk, to the beach. Have a picnic or just say in. During this time talk to each other, catch up. Life keep us busy, if you have somebody don’t just spend your time with each other at night, when it’s time to sleep. Meet up for lunch in the park and TALK.
Everyone is lucky to have some to cuddle with at night. Don’t take who you have forgranted.
A night out with a bit of too much to drink could lead to some bad decisions. A partner not being truthful with their past history is a taboo in itself. Wanting to be 100% safe and healthy for your own peace of mind. No question about it, these are all reasons to go and get tested.
As young adults, we may indulge in activities that may lead to more consequences than benefits. Statistics show about 36.7 million people in the world are infected with HIV, 1.2 million people in the U.S. alone live with HIV, and 1 in 8 people don’t even know it. The only accurate way of knowing is to GET TESTED, as the symptoms are often absent, leaving a person feeling “normal” while their immune system deteriorates. For those that do experience symptoms, it closely resembles the flu, such as fever, chills, rash, night sweats, aches, and fatigue, to name. In some cases, those who did have the virus didn’t show symptoms for up to 10 years!
To be clear, HIV stands for human immunodeficiency virus, which is a virus that can cause an infection and can lead to the development of AIDS, standing for acquired immune deficiency syndrome, causing a severe loss of the body’s cellular immunity.
So many of us are still stuck in the mindset that only gay, white males contract this disease, but the facts are that anyone is susceptible. Going to any run of the mill tattoo artist that doesn’t take priority in safety and health by cleaning their ink needles after EACH customer could definitely leave anyone vulnerable to the disease if there are traces of infected blood left on the tool. Engaging in unsafe sex with a partner not only leaves you wide open to the many STDs but also HIV. The chances of pregnancy are also there, as well as passing the virus to the fetus, without proper medication.
According to AIDS.gov, African Americans are STILL the leading group infected by HIV/AIDS each year. Some reasons that blacks are measured with HIV/AIDS at such an alarming rate includes lack of information and accessibility to health care, the fact that STDs occurred most within the African American community which makes susceptibility higher, and the distrust within the government resources. It’s time to get serious and time to take responsibility. There are plenty of clinics and medical service units that offer free or discounted testing year round! As always, results are confidential. Though, there are many people who live in the world today with HIV and AIDS and thanks to technology and medical innovations, many are able to still lead a normal life, but there are preventative measures we can all take.
- Get tested every 3 to 6 months or every time you’re intimate with a new partner; reduce risky sex.
- Use condoms… EVERYTIME.
- Talk to your partner about your status; get tested together.
- Don’t inject drugs; steer clear of them.
- Take advantage of community programs and organizations.
- Utilize the many hotlines available.
National Aids Day is December 1! Make it your goal to know your status by then, if not sooner. Don’t strengthen the stigma, be the standout, go get tested and know where you stand.
There is an abundance of information on this subject- scholarly articles, blogs, books, etc.; get educated, talk to your doctor, a friend, your partner.
For more information visit
Do you know your status? Are you vocal about getting tested?
In movies, relationships are portrayed as bliss, easy, and never dull. This may be true for the first couple months but what if you’ve been together years and years? Does it ever get boring?
I wanted to know how couples around me are keeping their relationships fun and spicy. So I asked one of my favorite couples for an inside scoop on their love life. Here are some tips the couple gave to what makes their relationship work.
Friendship • Having a solid friendship is probably the most important. Someone you can be yourself around, to share things with, and connect with in a way you can’t with anyone else. An open and honest friendship is the building block to a flourishing relationship.
Distance • The couple I interviewed are in a long distance relationship, so having time apart is something that helps. A lot of people say they need to see their significant other everyday, they want to be laid up all of the time and that can be toxic (sometimes). Having your own agenda, space, and time away from each other can make the time you are together something you cherish more. The Distance can be a good thing and a curse.
Dates • Keeping the dates fun and innovative is must. Switching up your routine will definitely keep both partners on their toes. Dates don’t always mean money, try to be creative and think of things to keep you from laying up in the house.
A relationship is work, and humans tend to get comfortable or bored. Try to spice it up conversation wise, date wise, bedroom, whatever. Effort from both will make things more enjoyable and fresh for those long standing couples.
“A woman who respects her beliefs is always in integrity and men are very attracted to a woman who respects herself. If he doesn’t, do you really want to date that man anyway?” –http://sheismore.com/the-power-of-purity/
Many times us as women think that things will get better after we have given chance after chance after chance. We’re so loving and forgiving, by nature. But the truth is it won’t, because he no longer values or respects you as a woman.Something happened in the friendship where the man felt like he should no longer respect you. Once the respect factor is thrown out the window, the relationship and friendship must end as well.
Don’t keep taking the same person back that treats you like trash simply because you all have known each other for years.
I have never had a problem with being the ride or die in many of my friendships and relationships. But the thing is, it has hurt me in the end, because these men had absolutely zero respect for me. I compromised so much of who I was to try to get these men to realize how much of a great catch I was. I dealt with a man who ended up having two children on me while we were intimate for 5 years . This man also violated me by putting a very defiling picture of me on the internet for the world to see. He disrespected my family and friends, yet I continued to pursue the friendship.
It’s not like I didn’t have a dad who wasn’t present in my life or didn’t come from a good upbringing. I think maybe I really didn’t love myself and wanted so badly to be loved by a man I valued as a friend, but was truly an enemy. I was so afraid to be alone that I took a chance on people who didn’t value me.
I stayed in unhealthy friendships that were toxic and were beginning to determine my worth by how these men were treating me simply because I stopped realizing that I was the prize!
Once you stop realizing that you are the prize, the man will also stop realizing it . If a man doesn’t have to work hard for anything he wants, he then sees no value in possessing it.
Here is a list of 8 reasons why men lose respect for women in the relationship
- Doormat Syndrome
Stop jumping through hula hoops for someone who is not doing the same for you. There should be mutual respect and a mutual understanding. A relationship or friendship is not one sided so don’t be a push over. If you aren’t receiving what you need out of a friendship don’t continue to do favors for this person only so they can continue to take advantage. Never let someone see your weakness.
2.Being Too Available
I had this problem bad! I would always make myself available for guys when they wanted to see me. It was always during a time when it was convenient for them, but inconvenient for me . Learn how to say no not right now, no matter how much you truly want to see this person right then and there. If he values your friendship, he can wait when it’s convenient for the both of you. Remember you are the prize. He is chasing after you because you possess qualities that attracted him to you in the first place. Hold on to that.
3. Overcompensating to Please Him
You do not have to be anything but yourself around some one who is truly interested in you. There is no need to manipulate or to overcompensate who you are. Just be unapologetically you and let that person determine if he can handle all of who you are. It’s ok to be too much for someone. That’s what separates the men from the boys and the women from the girls. Men want to develop a friendship with women who are assertive and confident in who they are. It turns them all the way on.
4. Giving Him Your Heart to Quickly
Sometimes as women when we meet a nice guy, we fall into the trap of fantasizing on what it would be like to be in love with them or date them. Take it slow. Learn what he’s about. Develop a genuine friendship with him. See if you actually really like being around him, flaws and all. Don’t fall head over heals without actually having all your facts. Emotions are fickle and very deceiving. You want to read the book , not skip pages and miss out on some very important chapters. Men run away from women that fall too quickly because it makes it seem as though she is emotionally unstable.
If you lie to him, chances are you’ve already lost his utmost respect. Nothing bothers men or women more than a habitual liar. How can you build a friendship based on lies. There’s absolutely no foundation there. In order to have a honest friendship, you must be truthful with who you are and accept your flaws and mistakes in life. Even if that means you had sex with his best friend, not really feeling him anymore, or decided to lie about your occupation. If you did any of those things, you now have the opportunity to be truthful
6. Not Keeping Secrets
If he can’t trust you to hold his secrets, he can’t trust you to be his friend . He will then isolate you and will no longer want to be around you. He should be able to tell you everything he tells his homeboys and much more.
7. Not Respecting Him As A Man
Women have a tendency to cut deep with our words when we are in pain or have been offended. When a woman hits below the belt she then devalues the man, in which he then reacts to the devaluation by no longer valuing who she is. It’s a deadly toxic cycle. Always choose your words wisely and make sure you are not doing anything to wrongfully offend your friend.
8. Not Respecting The Boundaries You Made For Yourself
Men value women who continue to respect their own boundaries. Meaning if you told dude that you are celibate and don’t have casual sex without a relationship title or before marriage than hold on to that.
While reading 3 Boundaries All Single Women Should Have , I found out that setting boundaries is not about making threats or trying to control the friendship– – ‘it is about communicating clearly what the consequences will be if the other person continues to treat you in an unacceptable manner. It is a consequence of the other person disrespecting your wishes. Setting a boundary shows that you respect yourself’
The friendship will either become stronger or wither away because that was the only thing the guy wanted in the first place. Remember your sex is way too good, don’t f*** for free!
Dating in College brings forth an array of different feelings. Some will clown their homeboys and say it’s dumb to engage in or tell their best friends to live free. While others are constantly surfing the net for pictures of cute couples, stamping it as #GOALS. I personally think dating is a give and take, you learn the things that you like and don’t like, your expectations, and how to consider others. I’ve dated while in college and it is another stressor on it’s own, you should keep some of these things in mind if you choose to make it official while in college.
Always remember to be selfish with your time and talents. College is a huge milestone and should be a time where you hone your discipline skills in regards to your craft. Indulge into hobbies and studies; find out what you want to do in your future. Sometimes being in a relationship can distract you from the real reason you’re in school to begin with and that’s not wassup.
We all are young, so make sure you have as much fun as you can. You don’t want to regret being so caught up in your relationship drama that you forget to let loose and enjoy these years. I’m not saying lose all morals but if you’re in a relationship, keep that happy balance for the both of you.
Be transparent and genuine with your partner, this is easier said than done. There are so many temptations in college; the weak are bound to fall into the thirst traps. It’s key to keep it 100 at all times and to be on the same page. If you’re vibing with one another, and your bond is tight, nothing can phase you.
I’m not sure when drafting for cuffing season really begins…but when you’re blinded by the hype. And you can’t shake that feeling they give you remember relationships take WORK. Remember to focus on the real goal and to always put your happiness first.
Dating in 2016 has become extremely rare, starting controversy all throughout the world. It can be compared to a college graduate coming straight out of a four year university with a full-time position waiting in their desired area of interest making over 80k a year; not logical or realistic, a joke right? Modern day dating has come to the point where marriage and everlasting relationships aren’t even idolized anymore, just “something to do when there’s nothing to do” as I’ve heard many young adults and teenagers label the situation. But how do we stop this madness and get back to the way dating is supposed to be with hopes of possible children and longevity in marriages, something like old school R&B? Raising your standards and eliminating the many different relationship platform influences are two of the most important factors affecting the dating scene in 2016.
By Tabinda Sial
Whether you have a long time boyfriend, a husband, or a relationship that just needs spicing up, the best way to keep the relationship strong is simply showing your man you appreciate him. Continue reading Show Your Man You Appreciate Him
We have all been faced with the issue of dealing with a terrible date. Your date could be a complete slob or a complete bore, either way you’re ready to leave NOW! With time you begin to contemplate just walking away or screaming for help. However, right before you have a panic attack you remember you’re a nice person and begin to plan an almost respectful getaway. If you’re stuck on ideas here’s five ways you can shake a date without creating an enemy out of him.
20 Minute Emergency Escape Call
The most classic escape route is having one of your friends call you at least 20 minutes into the date. Regardless of what your friend is saying on the other side your response determines if the date is good or not. Saying something as simple as “What? What Happened? I’m on my way!” could get you out of there faster than you think. Pretending that a family member or your friends need your help immediately usually works best. Remember to apologize to your date and make them feel as if you will call them later.
Cut it Short
Remember that most dates should only last 1 ½ – 2 hours. So if you don’t want to go through the whole date but don’t have friends to call you make sure you guys are doing something that could be cut short. The movies isn’t something that could be cut short (also that’s a terrible first date), however something like dinner is the best one to cut off in the 30 – 45 minutes range. You usually get food within 15 minutes of arrival so for the rest of the date stuff that food down and yell for the check. If he seems confused just tell him you’re in a rush and have to be somewhere to be, anywhere is acceptable.
The Bathroom Emergency
Sit looking uncomfortable for at least 5 minutes then excuse yourself to the bathroom. While in the bathroom come up with something that requires you to leave because of bodily discomfort. This could be a range of things from diarrhea to an early period, regardless you need to leave now! Once you get back to your date rush out because you were not prepared for this emergency and must leave immediately before it gets any worst.
If this date is just completely unbearable and potentially dangerous I advise you just walk out the door and leave as soon as possible. No, this not the nicest approach and will most likely result in losing a friend completely. However, if you feel that your life may be in danger check for the nearest exit sign and smoothly walk out of it. It may not be the smartest decision to walk straight out the front door so take a back exit and never look back.
All of the kidding aside, the best advice is to just be honest. Most guys appreciate honestly and will respect you for it. You might be surprised if he feels the same as you and didn’t want to say anything. Just remember it’s not about what you say but about how you say it. So don’t be rude about it just simply tell him that “You’re a nice guy but I don’t think we’re a good match for each other.” He may be shocked but once he realizes that you respect him and don’t want to waste time he will be fine with it. And you never know you might have just landed yourself a good friend.
Nothing is perfect! Life is messy. Relationships are complex. Outcomes are uncertain. Many people are irrational.
This week on The Social B. show, I had the pleasure of learning about all of what makes a relationship “unhealthy” with CristiEllen Zarvas, community educator for the YWCA in Kalamazoo, MI. The YWCA is one of many organizations across the world fighting to eliminate racism and empowering women all across the world.
For more information about the YWCA click here.
Check out the full interview and tell us what you think!
Always remember… Be Honest. Be Humble. Be You!