In today’s society of social media, selfies, big butts, and Brazilian bundles… chances are scrutiny is everywhere: at home, in the workplace, in clubs and organizations, and even when we’re just out and about. From our hairstyle of choice, to our selection of clothes, down to the God-given quality of our skin, we’re constantly under a magnifying glass by people we don’t even know.
We’re judged on how we talk, how we walk, our demeanor, our orientation, the length of our hair, the tone of our skin, the fullness of our lips, the bone in our hips, and even the ridges in our teeth.
Because of these close examinations, it’s no wonder we take special care to make sure our hair is neat and tidy, our clothes match and have decent quality, and that we speak with articulation, but at some point we have to realize that enough is enough. Our life is our own and no one should be able to dictate how we should be our own person. From social media to that nosy co-worker to that hating “friend”there’s always someone trying to dim our light, trying to downplay our highs and broadcast our lows. A promotion, big purchase, new car, closing on a house, acceptance letter, even a new hair color…those people will come around trying to tell you what you “shoulda, coulda, woulda” did and why you made the wrong choice and that they probably could’ve done it too. For some reason people will try to find a way to rain on your parade but it’s you, yourself, and I marching through this thing called life.
This past Sunday’s church service delivered a great message- “Don’t allow others to trick you out of your blessings”. In short, if you like something, if you want something, if you have your heart set on something and you’re in route to get it…don’t allow someone to talk you out of it. Many will try to tell you what they would do if they were you but the simple, yet humorous fact is… they’re not you.
If you want to rock a blue afro then shave it off the next week, do it. Do it because that’s what you want to do. WorldStarHipHop, TheShadeRoom, BallerAlert, MediaTakeOut, Tumblr, and many more have been the home for “embarrassing” memes of people getting called out. Whether it was a video that went viral for an obese woman wearing too small clothing, a man receiving a lace front, or someone inside of McDonalds cursing the cashier…sure it’s funny but why do we care? What does it matter that a man wants to feel confident and extend his locks. Who are we to judge a woman who may not be able to purchase a new wardrobe. It may be funny to watch and listen to but, who knows if the man had to really find the money to buy a meal and why shouldn’t he deserve to have it prepared in the way he desired. This viewpoint may be playing the devils advocate, but moral of the story, we’re all living our own life the way we know how, who knows what the other deals with on a daily basis while we pass such harsh judgement.
If you’ve heard the catchy YouTube hit “She Ratchet”… then you’d recognize the meme included above, and for others…this just may be your mantra…constantly judging people while you’re not such hot stuff yourself. By all means if you want to come outside wearing red weave, green nails, and yellow teeth…go ahead; theoretically speaking (haha!) On the other hand why do we act and live life through others eyes. We might not buy a shirt that we like because someone we know has it or we might not go to the party on Saturday because the outfit we want to wear isn’t “good enough”. If we made decisions based on others opinions throughout life, we’d never find happiness. So many people have harshly judged men in the African American community for pressing or perming their hair. Sure, for some it may seem odd for a man to adjust his natural hair as it’s more accustomed to by women but, if a man chooses to jazz himself up, who is he hurting?
It all starts as fun and games-the teasing and poking fun at the “odd” ones, but what about those that feel conscious about some decisions for fear of what society may say. To some extent we’ve all done it. That second guessing yourself when it comes to a second helping of food, the decision to make a new purchase, or even to wear a bikini.
Who cares about him, her, he she, them, they…
“They don’t want us to eat…”
“They don’t want us to live…”
“They don’t want us to succeed…”
“They don’t want us to win! So, We’re going to win more!”