Five Helpful Tips for a Successful Sweetest Day

Ladies, Sweetest Day is swiftly approaching and I’m sure we all want to get the love of our life together on this amazing day to show our appreciation. Why not do it the right way, their way and not ours? Here I have 10 tips on the do’s and don’ts to make this holiday one to remember for the special someone in our lives:

Continue reading Five Helpful Tips for a Successful Sweetest Day

A Man’s World… Or is it

What kind of world do we live in? Who established these social norms? Why has our culture manifested itself in the way that it has?

So many questions, so very little answers…

As a female in today’s society it’s not rare to get barked at by males, be  reduced to the color pants we’re wearing at the current moment, or even be thought of as sexual objects. Unfortunately this is a normality for so many.

Sure, some may argue that if females didn’t wear tight skirts or revealing blouses or the fact that they curled their hair and put on makeup, they wouldn’t get treated as they do. amber-rose-slutwalk-la-october-2015-bellanaija0003But…why does a woman’s attire and physical appearance represent her sexual standing? Too often today do women find themselves in a position that they couldn’t or shouldn’t have imagined that they’d be in. For these reasons, it’s people like Amber Rose that have started the “Slut Walk”, the no-shaming protest to end the rape culture and the dehumanization of women. If a woman is a bit more promiscuous than that of a nun, she’s every name in the book. The cruelty and slander is horrendous.

 

To make matters worse, our potential president-unfortunately, Donald Trump, has been interviewed, quoted, and filmed one to many times about his opinion on the female. Some of his many claims are that women are a distraction; their menstrual cycles, pregnancyy3hcusvl8wkq4l6f7xzgrdl72ejkfbmt4t8yenimkbvvk0ktmf0xjctabnaljim9, and emotional mindsets are far too chaotic, inconvenient and disturbing much less to be considered in any place of power or as president of the United States, referencing Hilary Clinton.

We know the setup, “what’s your name, what’s your sign, you got a man” etc. a timeless opener for males to entice a woman, but if theres a hint of sass given or an attitude underway we’re automatically the worst things walking this Earth. Sure, being dry or straight to the point  may not be the nicest thing to do, but if i’m simply just not interested or don’t want to be bothered why does that make me any less of a person. At a social event, a female was shot, SHOT, in her chest because she declined to give a man her phone number. Though she’s doing alright, it was such an unnecessary measure taken. It’s unclear of how nicely or rudely she may have declined his request, but why would that even be a factor? Why does a woman need to be a gentle lamb just to preserve her life in these types of occurrences???

It sort of reminds me of the senseless killings by the police officers. A man selling CD’s though thought to be suspicious or his activity even illegal, it doesn’t justify his death.He was shot several times at close range while being held down by other police officers.  If you’ve seen some of the comments of the videos that have gone viral you’d see some of thie ignorant nonsense people have posted. “If he wasn’t selling CD’s he wouldn’t have been shot, If he didn’t resist, if he didn’t talk back, if he didn’t stand there, if he didn’t blink, if he didn’t smile, if he wasn’t black….” so many hateful, blood-boiling statements that bring me back to the thought that no one deserves the treatment that society bestowes upon them. Whether it be a woman with tight fitting clothing that drank too much and thus gang raped or an innocent man hustling to feed his family shot and killed, there are no justifications for their resulting consequences.

#AltonSterling #BlackLivesMatter

On a Saturday night out with the girls, all dolled up, men approach you and no matter how nice or rude you try to be it’s like they don’t get it. On a particular occasion, a man bumped into a young woman and was very touchy as he apologized, she requested that he not touch her, and he turned into another person aside from the one that was just trying to apologize so affectionately. “You must think you’re hot S***, you think you’re bad, well you’re not you ugly little b****, that’s why you…”, the slurs, profanity, and insults continued as he walked away. When these types of things happen it makes me wonder if it’s even safe to go out anymore. Who knows what could happen if a male approaches a female now of days.

Males are using whatever tactics they can just to save face and their pride. Chloroform cloths are being heavily used on women, along with date rape drugs- Rohypnol or Roofie, as well as tazers, guns, and other weapons. It wouldn’t be shocking to know that women actually feel some sense of obligation to comply with men and their requests no matter the circumstance just to maintain their safety. To no surprise, campus crimes have increased. A couple of girls walking back to their dorms from the library meeting with their study group, and a male thinks that’s the perfect time to take advantage of the situation. As women, we’re made to feel so small, helpless, weak, and insecure that we need to carry our purse pistols, a shank, mace…and not that that’s a bad idea at all, but why has society made us feel so fearful that we need to utilize these strategies just to make it back home safely?

Recently, well-known, socialite, Kim Kardashian was tied up with taped mouth and blindfold and robbed by two men dressed as police officers while in Paris for fashion week. Kanye West happened to be having a concert in the city that week and when he heard of the news he immediately canceled the show and went to be with her. People were outraged by the cancelation and took it out on Mrs. West herself.  People trolled, made accusations, and called Kim all sorts of names and legitimizing the reason she was robbed claiming that she shouldn’t have “all that money” anyway. Love, like, hate, or indifferent, no one should be made to feel so less than that anything they have can be taken rather it be physical objects or other things. This scenario isn’t too far off from what happens to women everyday.

download.jpegThis isn’t a rant for “men haters”, this isn’t a “women rule the world”-Beyonce combo, this isn’t to possey up and start a mob to start killing them off, this is to establish knowledge about what’s going on, in 2016 where a female can’t be too sure about her life’s state when a man approaches her. It’s all too surreal that our grandmothers were treated like queens when they were young. Given flowers, dated gentlemen who  thought they were lucky to have even have known the lady…times have definitely changed and not for better. As women, we definitely need to be aware of our surroundings, not caught up with capturing the “right light” while trying to take a selfie or other matters. It’s time to get serious. There are hotlines and helpful websites available. Talk to your mother, sister, grandmother, and other women. Talk to the men in your life too. Life is too precious and much to short to have it conflicted due to pride-hurt males.

Stay safe! Stay in the know!

-Domo.Dub

Who runs the world

Feminist- /ˈfemənəst/- a person who supports feminism

Feminism- /feməˌnizəm/- the advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men

There’s often negative talk about feminists and feminism as if it was the worst thing since World War II. “Stuck up women who feel entitled”…have been some of the nicer words to describe the category of people.

“Because I am a female, I am expected to aspire to marriage, I am expected to make my choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Marriage can be… a source of joy and love and mutual support. But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don’t teach boys the same?”

Why should we settle? We should we be content? Are we not allowed to want more than what we’re given? Why should a stay at home mom be all that we aspire? Is it so out of pocket for a woman to become a CEO of a Fortune 500 company or even want to run for president?

“We say to girls, you should aim to be successful, but not too successful, otherwise you will threaten The Man.”

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In 2016 women are still being paid less than that of a man… for the same job position. Not factoring in education or experience as it relates to the job, but simply for the plain fact that the candidate is a woman. If the job place wasn’t bad, what about social life? Women are expected to act like princesses, dress in frills, and speak with eloquence at all times all the while men can roll around in mud, compete in testosterone contests, and be absolutely obnoxious for the sake of just being a “man”. Men can be as careless, nonchalant, and promiscuous as they want, getting fist bumps and ego boosts while doing so. Women on the other hand have to be constantly aware at all times. Aware of their surroundings, aware of their clothing as they don’t reveal too much but just enough to still appeal and attract the male counterpart, friendly and bubbly so they won’t be looked at as a prude, sociable but not too much so that they won’t be called  loose… it’s just too much. Who made these rules? Why is this the staple?

“We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are. If we have sons, we don’t mind knowing about our sons’ girlfriends, but our daughters’ boyfriends? God forbid. But of course when the time is right we expect those girls to bring back the perfect man to be their husband.”

Why are women nearly disowned and shunned because they may have all male friends or even have a list of male partners they’ve been involved with? Why is it the norm for a man to rack up their numbers close to the hundreds? And it’s not about competition, it’s about equality and acceptance. Rather than trying to keep up with the man, why can’t we be equally accepted like the man is… in all realms and aspects.

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“A key that can open many locks is a master key but a lock that can be opened by many keys is useless”

There are so many elements, so many underlying factors, which brings us to the age old question…

Why does society accept men in a way they wouldn’t accept women… why can men do things freely, that women would be scorned upon… why can men do things women can’t do… why is there a double standard?

Sexually, socially, career-wise, family-orientation-wise, women are seemingly “stuck” peering up unto the glass ceiling.

How do we make a way for women? What can we do to make a difference? How do you feel about this topic? Are you a feminist? Do you support feminism?

 

#NOMAKEUP

Soulful, raspy, sensual, humble, curvaceous, stylish, humanitarian, mogul, actress, pianist, director, singer, and mother, are just some of the words used to describe the one and only, Alicia Keys.

She stole our hearts at the peak of the 2000’s with Fallin’ and kept leading us on with songs like Diary, You Don’t Know My Name, No One, and Girl on Fire. She’s taken a break, started a family, begun directing plays, began fighting for human rights, and somehow in between it all she still managed to make music. It seems that she has a new sound and a new outlook on life based on one of her newest singles, “In Common”. It’s a fresh take on a new love. The song talks about the joys, surprise and worry that someone could possibly love her and accept her for who she is.

One of her newest mantras is the no makeup movement. In the world of today, with no shortage of hip, butt, and lip injections, breast augmentations, skin bleaching, weaves, and makeup it’s no surprise that our girls are beginning to look like full blown women at such a young age. Makeup and the other assets is something women indulge in for various reasons, whether it be simple self-expression or possibly concealing a flaw they may not like, but as a young child turning on the television or even going to the store, seeing everyone dolled up, with extreme curves…I can only imagine going through puberty during this epidemic. Now more than ever, seeing these things could lead the youth to develop low self-esteem, absence of confidence among other things with no one to look up to. Thanks to Alicia Keys and many other women in the industry, we can finally find some inspiration for our girls instead of weeding out all the celebrities.

Alicia Keys published a piece in Lena Dunham’s Lenny Letter and made several statements that really made me stop and think.

“Does it start somewhere in second grade after picture day when you wear your frizzy hair out ’cause your mama says it’s beautiful but all your “friends” laugh at you?”

Deny as we may, we’ve all had this feeling. Our outfit wasn’t the best, our shoes weren’t the newest, we might’ve been “late bloomers”, we may have had to wear braces, might’ve had acne, our voice may have been a bit funny sounding, our hair wasn’t the longest or straightest, and our skin wasn’t the smoothest or lightest-as society has taught us, or it might’ve just been a bad day and we forgot to care about how we look for others sake.

“You grab the brush and gel and pull your beautiful big hair back into the tightest ponytail you possibly can to contain your unique hair in a bun — hiding a piece of who you are in order to fit into a picture of what others seem to see as perfection.”

I can remember in elementary school seeing movies like Clueless or Bring it On, and even seeing celebrities like Aaliyah and Beyoncé and looking up to them, in a sense kind of wanting to be them, because they’re so beautiful and must live an awesome life. I can remember in high school, if you didn’t have the new Jordan’s, a pair of True Religions, a designer purse, the most “laid” sew in…. well, you know the rest. At such a young age it’s instilled in us, somehow, that we need to look like this, have this, do this, talk like this, walk like this, etc.

“Before I started my new album, I wrote a list of all the things that I was sick of. And one was how much women are brainwashed into feeling like we have to be skinny, or sexy, or desirable, or perfect. One of the many things I was tired of was the constant judgment of women. The constant stereotyping through every medium that makes us feel like being a normal size is not normal, and heaven forbid if you’re plus-size. Or the constant message that being sexy means being naked.”

I wish I could’ve included the entire article because it was so raw and real. The stigma that Alicia Keys along with many everyday women experience is real! There are many who like putting on a “face” simply because they like it and there are also those who really struggle with their inner happiness and acceptance. They’re not curvy enough so they have to get injections, their butts are a little flatter than some so why not pump it up, lips aren’t as full as her’s: Botox! The list goes on and on. One problem I’ve identified is that we can find 1,000 flaws, but can’t seem to recognize 10 beauties. Alicia Keys wrote a song, “When a Girl Can’t Be Herself”. The lyrics are inspiring: In the morning from the minute that I wake up , What if I don’t want to put on all that makeup, Who says I must conceal what I’m made of , Maybe all this Maybelline is covering my self-esteem. After receiving so much flack at the recent VMA’s, Alicia Keys tweeted, “Y’all, choosing to be makeup free doesn’t mean I’m anti-makeup. Do you!”.  It seems as though people were confused. Alicia simply means that she no longer wants makeup to be her go-to when it comes to being beautiful. She doesn’t want to feel obligated to plaster it on before she leaves the house. She also doesn’t want to put anyone down if they do choose to indulge in it.

The key is self-worth, confidence, and acceptance. Be unashamed, proud, and unapologetic. If you like it wear it, if you want it get it, but if you’re not happy with yourself then you’ll never be able to accept you for you. TLC may have been the best to say it:

You can buy your hair if it won’t grow

You can fix your nose if he says so

You can buy all the make up

That M.A.C. can make

But if you can’t look inside you

Find out who am I too

Be in the position to make me feel

So damn unpretty

I’ll make you feel unpretty too

Let’s follow in Alicia Keys’ footsteps and set an example for others, including our youth.  Here’s a link to the full article. http://www.lennyletter.com/style/a410/alicia-keys-time-to-uncover/

 

#BlackGirlMagic

#WomenofColorWednesday

 

Women of Color Wednesday: Laurie Hernandez

Lauren (Laurie) Hernandez is the first US-born Latina to make Team USA for the Olympics since Tracee Talavera in 1984. Hernandez is on her way to the Olympics in #Rio2016, and is excited to be representing Puerto Rico and Hispanics everywhere. 3a4b04_746e3599a6734aad8ce298c294d8d30d.jpgHer floor routine truly embraces her roots, which is an infusion of Latin-inspired music and dance moves.

The second generation Purtero Rican was born in New Brunswick, NJ, on June 9, 2000.

The very sassy, “young Shakira” started gymnastics at the young age of 5 years old. Currently, she is one of the youngest American athletes to compete at this year’s Olympics. Wowing the judges at the Olympics trial, Hernandez scored first place in Beam, and second in All-Around.

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Her road to stardom was not easy. She had to take six months off in 2014 after a series of injuries, including a fractured wrist, torn patella ligament, and dislocated knee. However, she overcame her injuries and came back stronger than ever.

She will compete on the USA Gymnastics team alongside Simone Biles (19), Gabby Douglas (20), Ally Raisman (22), and Madison Kocian (19).

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I cannot wait for #Rio2016. I will be rooting for you, Laurie Hernandez. Stay sassy, and I know you are going to KILL IT!

How Men Lose Respect For Women In The Relationship

Men

“A woman who respects her beliefs is always in integrity and men are very attracted to a woman who respects herself. If he doesn’t, do you really want to date that man anyway?”      –http://sheismore.com/the-power-of-purity/

Many times us as women think that things will get better after we have given chance after chance after chance.  We’re so loving and forgiving, by  nature. But the truth is it won’t, because he no longer values or respects you as a woman.Something happened in the friendship where the man felt like he should no longer respect you.  Once the respect factor is thrown out the window, the relationship and  friendship  must end as well.

Don’t keep taking the same person back that treats you like trash simply because you all have known each other for years.

I have never had a problem with being the ride or die in many of my friendships and relationships. But the thing is, it has hurt me in the end, because these men had absolutely zero respect for me. I compromised so much of who I was to try to get these men to realize how much of a great catch I was. I dealt with a man who ended up having two children on me while we were intimate for 5 years . This man also violated me by putting a very defiling picture of me on the internet for the world to see. He disrespected my family and friends, yet I continued to pursue the friendship.

It’s not like I didn’t have a dad who wasn’t present in my life or didn’t come from a good upbringing. I think maybe I really didn’t love myself and wanted so badly to be loved by a man I valued as a friend, but was truly an enemy.  I  was so afraid to be alone that I took a chance on people who didn’t value me.

I stayed in unhealthy friendships that were toxic and were beginning to determine my worth by how these men were treating me simply because  I stopped realizing that I was the prize!

Once you stop realizing that you are the prize, the man will also stop realizing it . If a man doesn’t have to work hard for anything he wants, he then sees no value in possessing it.

Here is a list of 8 reasons why men lose respect for women in the relationship

  1.  Doormat Syndrome

Stop jumping through hula hoops for someone who is not doing the same for you. There should be mutual respect and a mutual understanding. A relationship or friendship is not one sided so don’t be a push over. If you aren’t receiving what you need out of a friendship don’t continue to do favors for this person only so they can continue to take advantage. Never let someone see your weakness.

2.Being Too Available

I had this problem bad! I would always make myself available for guys when they wanted to see me. It was always during a time when it was convenient for them, but inconvenient for me . Learn how to say no not right now, no matter how much you truly want to see this person right then and there. If he values your friendship, he can wait when it’s convenient for the both of you. Remember you are the prize. He is chasing after you because you possess qualities that attracted him to you in the first place. Hold on to that.

3. Overcompensating to Please Him

You do not have to be anything but yourself around some one who is truly interested in you. There is no need to manipulate or to overcompensate who you are. Just be unapologetically you and let that person determine if he  can handle all of who you are. It’s ok to be too much for someone. That’s what separates the men from the boys and the women from the girls.  Men want to develop a friendship with women who are assertive and confident in who they are. It turns them all the way on.

4. Giving Him Your Heart to Quickly

Sometimes as women when we meet a nice guy, we fall into the trap of fantasizing on what it would be like to be in love with them or date them. Take it slow. Learn what he’s about. Develop a genuine friendship with him. See if you actually really like being around him, flaws and all. Don’t fall head over heals without actually having all your facts. Emotions are fickle and very deceiving.  You want to read the book , not skip pages and miss out on some very important chapters. Men run away from women that fall too quickly because it makes it seem as though she is emotionally unstable.

5.Lying

If you lie to him, chances are you’ve already lost his utmost respect. Nothing bothers men or women more than a habitual liar. How can you build a friendship based on lies. There’s absolutely no foundation there. In order to have a honest friendship, you must be truthful with who you are and accept your flaws and mistakes in life. Even if that means you had sex with his best friend, not really feeling him anymore, or decided to lie about your occupation. If you did any of those things, you now have the opportunity to be truthful

6. Not Keeping Secrets

If he can’t trust you to hold his secrets, he can’t trust you to be his friend . He will then isolate you and will no longer want to be around you. He should be able to tell you everything he tells his homeboys and much more.

7. Not Respecting Him As A Man

Women have a tendency to cut deep with our words when we are in pain or have been offended. When a woman hits below the belt she then devalues the man, in which he then reacts to the devaluation by no longer valuing who she is. It’s a deadly toxic cycle. Always choose your words wisely and make sure you are not doing anything to wrongfully offend your friend.

8. Not Respecting The Boundaries You Made For Yourself

MenMen value women who continue to respect their own boundaries. Meaning if you told dude that you are celibate and don’t have casual sex without a relationship title or before marriage than hold on to that.

While reading 3 Boundaries All Single Women Should Have , I found out that setting boundaries is not about making threats or trying to control the friendship– – ‘it is about communicating clearly what the consequences will be if the other person continues to treat you in an unacceptable manner. It is a consequence of the other person disrespecting your wishes. Setting a boundary shows that you respect yourself’

The friendship will either become stronger or wither away because that was the only thing the guy wanted in the first place. Remember your sex is way too good, don’t f*** for free!

Women of Color Wednesday: Jereshia Hawk

I met this amazingly intelligent young woman when taping Episode 10 of Season 3 of The Social B. Show. I must say, I was wildly impressed by her determination, hunger for success, her clarity, and her focus.

This girl knows what she wants, and stops at nothing to move to the next level of achievement.

Ms. Jereshia Hawk is a native of West Bloomfield, Michigan. She received her Bachelor’s of Science in Civil Engineering with a minor in Mathematics at Western Michigan University in April of 2014. Currently, she works as a Transmission Pipeline Engineer for Michigan’s largest electric and natural gas utility. Other engineering roles she has had since May 2014 include metering and regulation, and damage prevention public safety outreach, enhancing the quality of life for over 6 million Michigan residents.

Additionally, she has also been dedicated to creating a more engaged workforce whose diversity enables best-in-class performance by chairing a multi-generational employee resource group, co-coordinating the gas engineering intern program, and by being an overall diversity champion. She served as a Product Specialist for Fiat Chrysler Automobiles from 2011 to 2014. She also served as the Chief Executive Officer of Love Struck, LLC. from 2012 to 2014, an online women’s boutique that provides high quality products to customers in over 20 countries.

It doesn’t stop there. Hawk is also an entrepreneur! She is the Founder and Chief Empowerment Officer of the Goal Getter Group, a platform for professionals and entrepreneurs to get to the next level of their lives through self-awareness, support, strategic planning, and accountability. This organization is dedicated to preparing and advancing the empowerment of millennials.

Hawk’s life mission is to advance the empowerment of women. She aims to remove barriers, challenge the status quo, defy stereotypes, and go beyond what is expected; to not only have a seat at the table, but to have a voice, and to create platforms for other women to do the same.

Yes, honey! I’m here for it.

Her inspiring words to women of color are, “You have the power to design and dictate your life. You have the power to choose how you live your life. Raise your bar of excellence and engage in high quality experiences. Define your own standards. Choose who and how you want to engage with the world. Command the types of experiences you want to have. Choose not to settle. You are worth it!”

Hawk’s biggest accomplishment to date is the awareness of growing into her own greatness and defining what that meant for herself. “I was moving through life for so long not knowing or feeling like I had control, that I didn’t have the power to set my own standards and design a life I wanted to live,” she said. “As I became older and grew into my maturity, I discovered that I am a woman of excellence and that I could make the choice to live a life of abundance. Discovering that power within myself took me to the next level!”

Not only is Hawk young, educated, and the real definition of “goals,” she is also a woman who lives beyond her expectations and aims to inspire others to do the same through her actions.

As she progresses through her career, Hawk is fully committed to addressing under-representation of females and minorities in high level leadership positions in business, government, and nonprofit organizations by establishing more robust and sustainable pipelines geared for the development of diverse leaders.

Jereshia Hawk is a woman of action, an empowerment enthusiast, absolute optimist, and a solutions architect. Her drive, tenacity, and resilience to pursue her passions is remarkable. She knows what she wants, maps out a plan, and goes for it. She owns her greatness, works tirelessly to climb the corporate ladder, and is constantly #MovingThatNeedle!

You are awesome, Jereshia! It’s women like you who inspire me to empower others, have full confidence and control of my life, and give me the drive to make my dreams become a reality.

 

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Don’t Let Personal Vendettas Keep You From Stacking Bread

Fight1

By Bre Nicole J

insidethegirlsroom.com

It’s business nothing personal! Whatever ill feelings you’ve held against someone in the past is completely irrelevant! When you’re building a brand there are a few things you need to ask yourself— is it worth it? Will I make money? Is it beneficial for what I want to accomplish ? Why am I doing this in the first place? How can I make this happen? And what will it take in the process?
Holding a personal vendetta that has absolutely nothing to do with money or your brand is not one of those things you should allow to get in the way. If you inflict pain on someone else because that person hurt you, it’s not going to eliminate the pain you are currently feeling. The hurt will still be there . Don’t be the hurt person, who hurt you .

Most of the time the reason we are holding a grudge or wrongdoing against someone is because of another person. When it comes to being a woman, sometimes that other person, who is the cause of all the drama is a guy.

Back in college there were a few women who disliked me due to my connection to a guy that I was dating. There was always a new rumor being dished out about who I was as a person and my integrity because of my relations with him.

Of course many of the women who had their opinion about me were also women he had slept with. Others were just so unhappy about their own life that they tried so hard to make my life miserable with their personal beliefs about me.

Fight2I couldn’t let their opinions and grudges define my brand and define me. These women weren’t paying my bills, weren’t cashing my checks, and weren’t helping me build my brand or career so their opinions about me were invalid.

You have to remember what people say about you and how they feel about you, is really none of your business!

As career driven women the grudges held against other women and men can get in the way of making rational and logical decisions when it comes to gaining profit.

Of course you don’t want to do business with someone you don’t trust or has a hidden agenda, but if it’s about helping your brand as well as someone else’s brand, all personal issues on who screwed who back in high school and college, should get thrown out the window. No one cares anymore, except you.

It happened and it’s over and done with. Do not allow it to affect working with someone who may bring a lot of good to your business. No need to get revenge or angry about the past, it already happened and it ain’t nothing you can do about it.

If you inflict pain on the person who hurt you, it’s not going to eliminate the pain you are currently feeling. The hurt will still be there . Don’t be the hurt person, who hurt you . Allowing the actions of another person to control how you handle and run your business, or how you participate as a team member at a company takes more of a toil on you than the person who actually hurt you.

Remember bitter Betty’s never win in the end. Like Beyonce’ said in ‘Formation’ — ‘always stay gracious the best revenge is your paper’.

Here are a few ways to let go of past wrongdoings!

Take great care of yourself always (your mental /emotional well being, physical, and spiritual)
Read positive daily affirmations
Get an accountability partner who will tell you the right thing to do —who is the good angel on your shoulder not that trickling little devil
Substitute negative thoughts with positive thinking
Write a list of all of your best positive qualities
Surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself
Treat yourself to nice things
Write a letter about how that person made you feel and burn it
Keep writing the same letter if you keep having those same negative thoughts about how that person made you feel and then burn it once more
Fall in love with a better you
Remember that forgiveness is a daily process and we have to do it every day with cleansing and renewing our minds and hearts

Bre Nicole is a multimedia personality working in front and behind the scenes. She founded a blog site called insidethegirlsroom.com, the fall of 2014, while studying Family Life Education and Communications at Western Michigan University. During her senior year at WMU, she received a full ride scholarship at Specs Howard School of Media Arts for Broadcast Media. Bre Nicole has also interned with Oh So Radio as a blogger, hosted on a TV show called 7 Mile 2 Belle Isle Reloaded and was a production intern for the Blaine Fowler Morning Show at 96.3 WDVD (Cumulus Media Detroit). She is currently an on air radio personality for Power96.5 in Lansing,Michigan. Media is just the tip of the ice berg when it comes to Bre Nicole,this young,ambitious 24 year old has also interned as a suicide prevention specialist and has a nonprofit agency called Saving Our Sisters that focuses on breaking abusive family cycles and prevention of domestic violence and sexual assault in our communities, while providing workshops on emotional well being and healthy relationships.

Women of Color Wednesday: BreAna Allen

I met BreAna Allen my freshmen year of high school at the Saginaw Arts and Sciences Academy. Ever since I can remember, she’s always had this professional aura about herself. I thought she was a teacher when I first saw her, but she was actually a junior in high school!

Born and raised in Saginaw, Michigan, Saginaw Valley State University senior BreAna Allen is the ultimate role model and a true inspiration. Majoring in Business Management, she is the CEO and founder of Beaute Inc., a growing corporation that specializes in retail, health and beauty, food eateries, and special events. She is also the author of the book, Let Me Show You, and is a business life coach.

Talk about a jack of all trades!

Allen aims to encourage both women and men to exceed all goals, at all ages, with high faith and clarity. Her life mission: “To further God’s kingdom with the witty ideas and inventions I’ve been endowed with.”

She is everything that Black Girl Magic embodies. Allen strives to teach individuals how to reach their highest moments of achievement in life. Allen says, “When God created your skin tone, your purpose, your value, He knew you would be unstoppable. Embrace the quality He has placed on your life and dominate! You were made to win in every single area of your life, no matter how you look. Winning has no favoritism, only willing mindsets.”

Allen’s ultimate accomplishment is when she hosted her first fashion show at SVSU, which had 750 attendees! “I was a brand new transfer student with a LOT of success on my mind. 750 attendees came and watched my ladies strut their stuff on the runway. To date, it was the largest fashion show in Michigan,” Allen says.

That’s absolutely incredible.

Becoming the shining star that Allen is today was not an easy journey. For a long time, she was insecure about her physical appearance and struggled with bulimia nervosa. However, her self-esteem issues is what motivated her to create her first T-Shirt line in December of 2008 called Beaute Marc to inspire women to discover their beauty and worth.

Looking at BreAna Allen, I would have never guessed that she struggled with self-acceptance. However, her diligence and her faith allowed her to overcome these obstacles. There really is “beaute” in the struggle, and Allen is a living testimony of that statement.

What I love most about Allen is her spirituality and her faith in God, and how she runs her business on faith. She stands firm with 1 Peter 4:10. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faith stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.

She does exactly that, and more. With her confidence and her drive, I doubtlessly believe that Allen will be a millionaire by the age of 25!

BreAna, I have been following your accomplishments and watching you grow for years now, and I just want you to know that you inspire me more than I could ever describe! Thank you for showing me and everybody around you that with confidence, faith, and ambition, you can reach the highest of heights.

To add, Bre’s Hair Extensions, LLC will be opening its first location in Fashion Square Mall in Saginaw, Michigan – located at 4787 Fashion Square Mall, Saginaw, MI 48604 – on August 20, 2016! Be sure to like the Bre’s Hair Extensions Facebook page, and check out BreAna Allen’s website!

Keep climbing and keep shining, BreAna! You’re amazing, and inspire me and those around you more than you know.

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Social Media Leading Women To Objectifying Their Body’s

 

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By Bre Nicole J

insidethegirlsroom.com

Social media is a relatively new paradigm , not even two decades old. Various social media outlets include twitter, instagram, tumblr, facebook, dating sites, kik, and many more. So what do all of these outlets have in common? Researchers are continuously studying how women evaluate their body images through social media.

Since the start of Myspace and Facebook , researchers wanted to know how much time do people actually spend on these sites. Now, studies are leaning more towards how women compare their bodies to other women because of the excessive picture posting.

In the Sage Journal, “Psychology of Women Quarterly”, Psychologists Jasmine Fardouly, along with her team wrote,

“Given the large number of images posted to Facebook (currently over 250 billion images; Facebook, 2013), as well as the appearance-related comments they often receive from others, Facebook may well be considered an appearance-focused media type.
women1Alone women spend an average of 2 hours a day on Facebook. So it’s no surprise that in between those hours of the day, women are loading pictures and often times scrolling through their timelines lurking on images of other women or their own photos.

Researchers Slater and Tiggemann (2015) found that the amount of time spent on social networks was associated with greater self-objectification.

Women have a long history of being objectified in the media from television, music videos, and print magazines, why would the objectification just stop at these mediums and not social media? And why are women self objectifying themselves?

Some can argue low self-esteem, vanity, or insecurities. Women have been known to compare themselves to other women, whether short, skinny, tall, plus size, short hair or long hair. It’s just something women do—that is—label themselves in comparison to others.

When a person compares their own inner or self-image to an image that has been filtered on social media it can pose the threat to self objectification and self-absorption. When self comparisons take place that person looks at themselves as the spectator or observer.

One researcher suggests, “Self-comparisons to images of a previous self might engender a greater focus on specific body parts, also contributing to self-objectification.”

Researchers give tips on how to avoid becoming self objectified and harming one’s self esteem. Here are the tips :

Post fewer images of self on social media

Follow people on Facebook or (social media ) who post photos less frequently

Guess I’ve lost the battle to this fight! Let us know how you feel about this study?

Sources:

Author Rick Nauert PhD, Young Women Compare Themselves on Social Media”

Author Rebecca Adams The Huffington Post “How Facebook Stalking Could Lead Women To Objectify Their Own Bodies”

Fardouly, J., Diedrichs, P.C., Vartanian, L.R., Halliwell, E. (2015). ‘The Mediating Role of Appearance Comparisons in the Relationship Between Media Usage and Self-Objectification in Young Women’, Psychology of Women Quarterly, Sage Journal , p 34 doi: 10.1177/036168431558184

 

Bre Nicole is a multimedia personality working in front and behind the scenes. She founded a blog site called insidethegirlsroom.com, the fall of 2014, while studying Family Life Education and Communications at Western Michigan University. During her senior year at WMU, she received a full ride scholarship at Specs Howard School of Media Arts for Broadcast Media. Bre Nicole has also interned with Oh So Radio as a blogger, hosted on a TV show called 7 Mile 2 Belle Isle Reloaded and was a production intern for the Blaine Fowler Morning Show at 96.3 WDVD (Cumulus Media Detroit). She is currently an on air radio personality for Power96.5 in Lansing,Michigan. Media is just the tip of the ice berg when it comes to Bre Nicole,this young,ambitious 24-year-old has also interned as a suicide prevention specialist and has a nonprofit agency called Saving Our Sisters that focuses on breaking abusive family cycles and prevention of domestic violence and sexual assault in our communities, while providing workshops on emotional well-being and healthy relationships.

#FilmMajorFriday: Why Ava DuVernay is My Greatest Inspiration

Ava DuVernay is everything that Black Girl Magic encompasses. Being a film major, she is my greatest inspiration and really motivates me to pursue a career in film and be on the frontier for bringing more diversity into Hollywood.

DuVernay is a director, screenwriter, film marketer, and film distributor of independent film. She’s most famous for directing Selma (2014), a chronicle of Martin Luther King’s campaign to secure equal voting rights via an epic march from Selma to Montgomery in 1965, which was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Picture in 2015.

Based in Los Angeles, she is the founder of ARRAY, a community-based distribution collective dedicated to the amplification of films by people of color and women filmmakers. She is also a member of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences, and is on the board of Film Independent and the Sundance Institute.

What I appreciate most about DuVernay is that she strives to make change for women and people of color in an industry that is dominated by white men. She advocates for the distribution of more films by women and minorities, which is both comforting and inspiring since I’m both a woman and a minority. Not only does ARRAY focus on women and Black filmmakers, but also Latino, Asian, Native American, and Middle Eastern filmmakers and directors.

To me, one of her most notable acts of duty is when she and Ryan Coogler (Director of Fruitvale Station, Creed, and the upcoming Black Panther movie that comes out in 2018!!!), and several others supported a free Oscar-night event in Flint, Michigan to raise money for the Flint Water Crisis while boycotting the Oscars for its lack of diversity in the Academy. The #JUSTICEFORFLINT benefit gave a voice to members of the community who were victims of the choices that people in power made, choices that failed to protect the citizens of Flint. The event raised a total of $100,000.

She has taught me that if my dreams are only for myself, then they’re not big enough, and to include others in my dreams. She has taught me to pay attention to my intention not just in filmmaking, but in all areas of my life. Be grateful, appreciate others, and put others first. Take action in my craft, and that the only thing that matters is my work.

Most importantly, it is imperative that we continue to create spaces like ARRAY that advocate for the distribution of more films by women and minorities. Why? Because all of us should be able to see ourselves. Visual identity and representation matters. It’s important that we allow others to see themselves in all walks of life, beyond the stereotypes that we are subjected to.

Thank you, DuVernay, for all that you do. You are changing lives and inspiring young filmmakers like me more than you are credited for. Keep on climbing, and keep on shining!

 

Women of Color Wednesday: Viola Davis

This week’s #WomenofColorWednesday shout out goes to one of my favorite actresses, Viola Davis!

I’ve always been a fan of Davis, but I completely fell in love with this incredibly talented, intelligent, brilliant actress during her acceptance speech during the 2015 Emmy Awards.

Watch Davis give her speech here.

What stood out to me the most is when she said, “The only thing that separates women of color from anyone else is opportunity.” I’ve never heard a truer statement than that. So many women of color miss out on chances to reach the peak of their potential not because they’re not good enough, talented enough, or educated enough, but simply because they lack the opportunities to do so.

Davis is one of the reasons why my life mission is to be a part of the change that the film/media/TV industry needs today: more women and more people of color. I want to be able to tell diverse stories by diverse story tellers, and create opportunities for those who would otherwise not receive them.

The fact that Davis is the first African American to win an Emmy for best actress in a drama (for How To Get Away With Murder) says a lot about the racial inequality in Hollywood and the lack of opportunities for people of color in the industry. There’s definitely a diversity problem, and that needs to change.

At this year’s SAG Awards, she said that “diversity should not be a trending topic…No matter what is going on in the business, I will find a way to practice my art, and all of the actors of color who I know don’t place any limitations on themselves either. So regardless of what is going on with the Academy, regardless of what is going on in Hollywood, they will find a way to be excellent. We always have and we always will.”

People like Viola Davis are the driving force to the changes that need to happen in the industry, and it’s important that people of color lead by this example and advocate for more opportunities for people of color — and women — in the industry. Our stories are just as valid as anyone else’s.

Viola Davis, thank you for being one of my greatest inspirations. It’s people like you that give me hope for diversifying an industry that is dominated by white men.

Buzz of the Day: Fight Breaks Out At Wal-Mart

Walmart at 8500 Golf Road, NIles. PhotoPat Krochmal
[Credit: College Council]
By Sydney B.

SECURITY! Clean up in aisle 1 please.

You have to follow your heart and if it happens to lead you to Wal-Mart then so be it.

Well, it seemed that the hearts of these two ladies lead them to Wal-Mart at the wrong time. Why? Well out of nowhere they just begin fighting.

It’s not clear as to why these two Indiana women started fighting in the shampoo aisle, but it’s very evident that one of the ladies may not be teaching her son what to do when he see’s someone close to him fighting. As the fight begins the 6-year-old child is seen not only pouring shampoo on the woman’s head, but also kicking and punching the woman in the face.

This little boy needs his tail handed to him, and where in the world was security!

Check out the video below:

Onlookers were heard in the background bantering over whether or not the young boy should join and defend his mom.

BUT…as they argued and called out that help is on the way why didn’t anyone try to break it up. Instead of calling it “white trash at it’s finest,” why didn’t anyone put forth the effort to try and defuse the situation. Don’t let me get started on the actions of the 6-year-old.

Are you really teaching your son that it’s ok to hit women? Just a little honey in your tea for you to think about!

What’s your take on this incident?